This Face

This face.

I could stare at this face for hours 

In fact, some days, I do. 

When all he wants to do is nurse and be close to me and hold my hand tight, I let him. 

I think of the dishes on the counter, the laundry beginning to pile back up, the floor that needs another good vacuuming...

Many, if not all days, I long for him to let me get them done so I can just relax and spend time with him. But then many, no, all days, I realize that I am spending time with him now, while he needs it most, and how sweet it is.

As satisfying as it is to finish off a to-do list, have a sparkling kitchen, crisp vacuum lines on the floor, etc, how much more satisfying it is to cradle him with his hand grasping mine, and see him smile up at me. 

How sweet it is not only to be needed, but so wanted by someone that means the world to you. Little boys want their mommas. Little boys need their mommas. 

In a few short months, he’ll be crawling.

Then walking.

Then waving bye to me from the halls of kindergarten.

Going to junior high, then high school.

Leaving the driveway in his first car.

Going out to meet a girl.

Walking across the stage for a diploma.

Going off to college. 

Getting married.

Having his own sweet babies, that I hope he looks at the way I’m looking at him now.

But right now, he’s not going, or leaving, or waving bye. He’s laying in my lap, smiling up at me, saying, “Momma, leave the dishes, I need you now.” 

A day will soon come when his grasp on my hand isn’t as tight as it is now. And from there it will loosen and loosen until it’s time to send him out into the world to fulfill the mighty plans God has on his life. 

But tonight, I’m going to bed without the dishes done, or the laundry put away, and I’m going to hold his hand a little tighter, as long as I can. 

And tonight, instead of dreaming of what all hated chores I could accomplish instead, I’m going to cradle and cherish him and look down at 

This face.